AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. With the combination of personal issues, homesickness, overcoming culture shock, trying to get over a breakup, blahblahblah you know how it goes.
Anyways this one is going to be a little more on the rant/serious side of things because this really set me over the edge and if I don't unload somewhere I'm going to end up unleashing it unhealthily. Soooo here goes:

I failed my math midterm today.
Today, I woke up confident. I knew I was going to do good on the test because thanks for this man www.khanacademy.org I have been able to self teach my self calculus. Me. Although I've always been good at math I've never liked it. So from an early age, due to lack of adult supervision in my teen years, I've been able to effectively "skip" out on taking math courses for as long as I could. I've never taken calculus before, I've never taken pre-calculus before, and my algebra 2/Trigonometry class that I took in college I took in my first term of college, when I was 19 years old. So from then until now (being 23 1/2) I haven't taken math.
Me, who upon taking this course that it would be better to give up and fail because I didn't understand the lessons. Me, who after weighing the consequences decided that since I've never failed a class before that I sure as hell shouldn't start during my 4th year in school.
So for the last two weeks I have been digging into the youtube vaults until I came across Sai Kahn and his demonstrations on various subjects of academia. The man is a genius. and his teaching style is superb, the only problem is that he ISN'T my teacher and I SHOULDN'T have to learn from this man in the first place. But despite that, using the "practice exam" my teacher gave me, examples from the text book, and Sai Khan's teaching I was able to finally get (limits, derivatives, and implicit differentiation). I understand it for the first time in my life and I did it all by myself. No thanks to the stupid fuck of a teacher that can't get fired due to her being on a ten year.
Before I continue I just thought I'd tell you a little about my teacher who's name isn't worth memorizing or noting. She sits in front of the class and lectures word for word from the textbook using the exact same textbook examples. Word. For. Word.
I couldn't believe when I signed up for the class and since the drop period was only a few days long it was too late to drop it when I made the decision to do so. SO I was stuck.
So as I was saying earlier I woke up with confidence today. I KNEW I was going to do good on this test. I was going to do it! When I entered math class I sat with confidence, I looked at the test with confidence, and then it all slipped away.....
NOTHING that was on the practice exam was on the real test. NOTHING!!!!!! Not even the same formulas. So here's an 11 question test with which I cannot use a calculator, and the formula sheet she handed out was absolutely useless, USELESS!!!!!
I probably answered 5-6 correctly and bombed the rest. So that was my midterm. Usually teachers make much larger tests so if student don't do well in some aspects of math they can at least exceed on the others to make up for it...nope! 50% of my grade, weighing on 11 questions that I couldn't answer.
This class is a joke. This school is a joke. This country is a joke in terms of academics. I can't believe I worked so hard for three years to go to this shitty school. I can't believe people here just passively accept it as being okay. I'm furious that there is nothing I can do about it. And yes, I'm losing my mind.
Goodnight.